This first week of June we have already seen temperatures hit the 90’s with no sign of rain in the forecast. The hills are already starting to turn and the green is beginning to fade. We obsess over weather reports, looking to the sky each day for signs of any kind of moisture. It’s the cause of a lot of downturned mouths and heavy hearts in our ranching community. Mike and I made the tough but necessary decision to sell off a chunk of our cows and calves with the realization that we aren’t going to have enough grass to feed all of them.

This was so hard for me! Much harder than when we were running 400 head of cow/calf pairs. Having a smaller place means that I know each and every cow, her disposition and what kind of calves she raises. A little bit of my heart went down the road in the trailers that hauled our cows and their babies off. One blessing in it was that I know they are going to a ranching family that will take care of them just as we have.

I had to ask myself my I was struggling so much in the letting go of this handful of cattle. I realized that I am my father’s daughter and that the number of cattle we run gives me a sense of identity. With every cow sold that isn’t replaced, I felt as if I was losing a little bit more of my identity. I think this is something that only a cattleman or woman can understand, but each one of us has pieces of this world that we cling to and have a tough time releasing because it is what gives us our identity. It might be different for you than it is for me, but God cautions us to seek our identity in Him.

It might be our job that gives us our identity and purpose, for others it may be our families, activities, talents, and hobbies. The problem with making these areas of our lives what identifies and defines us is that they could be taken away at any given moment. None of these things in and of themselves are bad, it’s good to be passionate about any and all of the above, it’s what makes life beautiful and rewarding. 

What becomes dangerous is when we turn these passions into obsessions and obsessions into the ONLY place where we find life to be beautiful and rewarding. Because at some point all of it will fade and be taken away, jobs end, our children grow up and start their own lives, loved ones pass away, someone else comes along and usurps our talents, hobbies become unfulfilling, and cows get trucked down the road when there’s not enough grass. 

God tells us in Ephesians 4:24 to “put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” The amount of cattle we run does not have to be what defines me; I am created in the likeness of God, and that’s where my true identity comes from. Being a ranch wife and mom, writer, ministry leader, daughter, sister, friend, etc all are secondary identities that will come and go. Who I am in Him remains the same yesterday, today, tomorrow, no matter what storms or droughts may come.